September 28, 2011

That Society I Heard About

I wonder if I would have been part of that society.

The society I read about in college.

The one the kids in California may learn about someday,
If the bigots and politicians and religious folk just stop.

If they just stop already.

Just because one does not like the color green,

Or agree with it's place on the color wheel,
Does that mean it's not to be taught?

I wonder if I would have had meetings in my apartment.

And if so, I wonder if that's where I would have met my partner.
Even in a different era,
I would of still went for the smart ones,
The movers,
The shakers.

Cause I need that.

I look for that.

And I said, "my partner."

Not my husband,
Because even when I do quick math,
It's not enough.

It's not enough time for equality to come.

I'd be waiting a long time.

Fuck, man, I'm already tired of waiting.

And we only just started.

1950.

1951.
1952.

Is it here yet?

It takes time,

they said.
It takes time,
they say.
It takes time,
they will say.

1983.

1984.
How about now?

Maybe if I was a part of that society,

Maybe I would have goals for those in the future.
A kid, like me, with dreams propelled by fears.
A goal for that kid who would have a different life than me.

A different path,

a different struggle.

1999.

2000.
2001.
Are we getting closer?

I would scream at him,

Well, all of them.
But, I would scream at that one kid who I know would change things.

He, or she, would not be the loudest.

Or the natural born leader.
Or the one calling the shots.
But, he,
or she,
would be the one to change things.

2010.

2011.
2012.
Wait, where are we going?

We've passed 2011. But, I'm still here.

We're still here.
Don't go on, please, cause it's real now.

2017.

2018.
2019.

Stop, I'd say, slow down.

Please, enough.

This is my life, now, not those of activists in the past.

They devoted their lives to me,
To those of my generation,
And my fate is not going to be crammed into four pages,
Those pages in a back of a fucking history book.

It's easy to read.

"Rights denied. Marriage Banned. Unequal Treatment."
But, what does it mean for the millions of people,
Whose lives are summed up in a few words?

The one in the waiting room,

waiting.
For equality,
For change,
For her partner to die.

And I said, "her partner."

Not her wife.
But when she does the math in her head,
It does not come out right.
And she does not understand.

It takes time,

they said to her.
It takes time,
they say to her.
It takes time,
they will say to her.

I wonder if I would have been part of that society.

I wonder if I would have had meetings in my apartment.

Welcome, all, welcome to the first meeting of the society.

Excuse me, I would say, I meant to say,
The Mattachine Society.

Thank you for coming.

Sometimes, I wonder.

About the past.
Sometimes, I wonder.
About the future, but then, I think about the past again.

1952.

1951.
1950.

Thanks everyone for coming,

I think I would say.
Or I think I would hear.
Something along those lines.

And then something that would change America.

And the world.
Not right away, but over time.

Now, everyone, settle down.

Let's get started.